"Animals, children, and all the elements are constantly responding to the forces of life moving through them. Imagine a horse full of excitement--prancing, whinnying, rearing its head, tossing its mane. Of all the life forms on this planet only humans have the option of not responding with such immediacy to thr forces of life. Through the twists of evolution, humans have the ability to shape, modify, and outwardly inhibit their organic responses to the world.
The British naturalist Charles Darwin (1809-1882) called the responses of animals complete expressions. Darwin believed that the full repertoire of animal movement that preceded us in evolution remains with us. Consider the toddler excited to see a friend. As they greet, he may resemble a horse described earlier, prancing about, squealing in delighted anticipation, unable to contain his spontaneous natural movement. Unfortunately, by the end of toddlerhood, around age three, many children in our culture have already begun to inhibit their natural movement." Susan Aposhyan from Natural Intelligence, (20-21).
What was your experience with Authentic Movement on this Thursday? Could you experience your earlier evolutionary self? Perhaps you had glimpses, what did it feel like in the body. What does it feel like in the mind? If this was purely a struggle for you, that is completely fine. Struggle is still learning. What learning can you take away from the struggle? How does this idea about inhibition change your understanding about you, your body and/or the human species? 
21 comments:
In Thursday's class i felt that I had my best authentic movement experience. I really enjoyed the reading at the beginning of class and I felt like li was able to channel some of that energy while being a mover. In class I first participated as a witness, I was amazed after watching my partner and the others on the floor. I felt like my partner was really able to let go of her mind, and allow her body to guide her. The only time that I could tell she was using her mind was when she would bump into people, you could tell that she was thinking about where people were in relationship to her. I think that going second allowed me to clear my mind more and attempt to escape from my thoughts. Unlike my partner, I did not bumb into people, but people did bumb into me. Everytime this happened, I was really thrown off guard and felt like I need to open my eyes and it was hard for me to get back in sync with my previous movements. I really struggled with my ability to stop thinking, which caused me to be in a worried mental state. But at the same time, form the movements, I felt energized and almost re-born. It was not a surprise to me that the authentic movement exercises have been difficult for me. I am usually very shy and in order for me to break out of my shell I have to feel very comfortable. -Kristen Shapton
For our last Authentic Movement study we started with some readings. I think this really helped me and everyone else in the class really understands what authentic movement is.
It is really about instinctive movement.
I also found that because we have done this exercise several times, it was easier to talk about the movement after. For the first time I noticed that what the witness saw and what I was feeling where different. For instance the witness had said she saw me move my knees from side to side while I was lying on my back. I felt it as my hips want to move from side to side. It has a cause effect relation. The dancer knows the cause and the witness sees the reaction.
In contrast to previous days we started standing today. On other days I started lying on the ground. When lying, I was able to get into my breath and then my body got restless and wanted to move. But today because we were standing it was different. I noticed I started moving more sooner. With that it was hard to stay in my body and out of my mind. I kept having to really focus on my breath. This intern made my movements rhythmic with my breath. By the time I reached a lying position I was so relaxed I didn’t want to move.
I was so shocked that after those two sessions that class was over already. It was crazy! Time just flew by.
Though I believe I was moving solely based on my body, I feel it isn’t really “my pre-evolutionary self” because we weren’t involved with our environment at all. We had nothing to give a bodily reaction too.
-Sandra Viall
On Thursday I moved around with much more freedom in our mover/witness exercise. I also traveled so much more than ever before. I was surprised at where I ended up. I found myself brushing into people. The first time I brushed someone, I felt a twinge of concern, but I was able to let it go quickly. After that, I didn’t worry at all when I brushed into someone or someone brushed into me. I found that I was far more able to keep my mind clear. It is a bit amazing that I was able to let myself go so much more than when we first tried this.
As a witness, I found myself wanting to choreograph my mover’s movements. I found myself thinking how it would be cool if she went here or there. I find witnessing to be a creative time for me. I am not sure how much practice it would take for me to just try and witness and connect with my partner without imagining controlling her moves. That may never happen, but I do like witnessing as a creative experience.
As for complete expression and freedom of toddlers and animals, I think that authentic movement is a great exercise for learning how to let go and just be free. I also believe these experiences will come back to me as I observe animals and toddlers from now on.
I came into class on Thursday with a heaviness in my mind and body that was all consuming. I felt a strong need to use the opportunity to move freely in our space as a means to move that energy around and out. It definitely helped and I felt a lot lighter, a lot more free and open when I rejoined my partner.
I learned a lot about myself through the sharing session. My witness commented that she saw my movements as “learned,” “formed,” essentially premeditated. This made me think about the fact that the aspect of the practice that is challenging for me; to completely let go and let my body be moved by instinct. Also in conversation I discovered that moving without music is an aspect of the practice that is foreign to me and also slightly “challenging.” Movement has come into my life through the practices of the 5 Rhythms and most recently Soul Motion, two methodologies that encourage free-form, creative, ecstatic expression accompanied by music. I realize that I get a lot of inspiration and essentially guidance from the music. Learning to move without it is interesting. The music serves as a buffer to really listen to the body and its needs. Not to say that music isn’t brilliant and serves those other practices well, I just came to understand the validity and capacity that Authentic Movement hopes to achieve.
Another realization that came up for me through the sharing was the influence of the environment on my movement practice. In general, be it at a live show, a club or dance class, I find that I tap into the energies of the movers around me, it can enhance my movement. The sound of footsteps, clapping, and wind created by flapping or swaying arms all excites and moves me to move. In this practice so far, I haven’t felt this type of energy in our space. This too is an opportunity to hear my body on its own.
I would like to practice this again.
I really appreciated, as others have expressed, the reading at the beginning of the class, the one posted above. It called me to recognize how inhibited we are as culture. Though there are times/places where inhibition is vital to survival, both physical and social, I believe it would do people good to be freer with their emotional and physical selves. It is empowering to be open with thoughts, movement, and expression. Life is beautiful and exciting; to express wonder at the joy in both participating and witnessing it, is fuN!
-Lindsey Goldberg
January 25, 2009
Last Thursday was a wonderful experience. I came into the room anticipating a full day's work, after a short class on Tuesday. I wanted to move and stretch and get beyond my body. Sometimes, it feels like its all bottled up tight and if we could only let it pour. The skin seems to tell us all these stories, and they are beautiful. When I feel the low dip of my back and all it's cells are open, I feel an emotional rush. In this way, and other ways, I know that the body is the home of the emotions. The mind, rather, is home to logic. Learning to listen to our bodies is so important for personal, social, cultural, and biological healing. I don't see us in any way returning to a pre-cogniscent state where the body is in power through the forces of life. Now, we are evolving into a place where the mind is trying to shut down the body, saying that it's not worth love and support. This is scary. I do believe that humans have this extraordinary pheonomenon of being able to reflect and contemplate about our actions before we must respond. During this time of cultural transition and collective empowerment, I feel like it is so important to paz/pause. This said, I think that devoting time to the listen to the body is a critical aspect of this contemplation. As an artist and activist, I am dedicated to working with dynamic mediums and practices to bring about insight, to nourish, and to grow. Essentially, I guess these are the processes of evolution. I see humans evolving in such a way so that we can begin to look at the earth and our body as synonymous. We've ignored the earth and her potential while aiming our direction of life with our intellect. This has lead to severe ignorance, violence, and destruction. On the periphery of my vision, I see hope through in the potentials of learning from our experiences. I feel deeply that my experiences are stored in my body, and that I can remember them and learn to unforget and come alive through engaging with my body. What does this mean though? How does it look? Can this method transcend the studio setting? One of my biggest set backs in any setting is that there are certain people allowed to access the space and its resources, while there are most others who cannot. Working to create systemic justice is working with people who mostly don't engage in artistic or intellectual communities, but rather, in familiar or social spheres. I guess what I'm gesturing toward is how can this practice a)benefit my work and b)be used in my work? I see this unveiling over time. I already can feel the transformation and power authentic practices offer me: they allow me to safely explore realms of reality that are not embraced in this patriarch. I see that when I am able to explore the body and my emotions through discipline, I can offer a deeper sense of patience to community. If I am able to be in my body, to be with emotion, think of what a gift that can be! I think it is the greatest gift because I experience love when I practice this; being in my body, swimming through my skin, and relaxing my mind is joyful.
++aa roesch-knapp
I almost did not come to class on Thursday so that I could study more for the test I had that day. However, I did come and despite my tenseness and preoccupation with the test I was going to have later in the day, I was able to listen to my body.
The introduction that was given from Natural Intelligence by Susan Aposhyan about the horse and its movements really helped me to better understand what it was we were looking for or listening for in the body. Growing up around horses, I have witnessed these movements often. What is particularly interesting is that when I’m working with my horse I actually am able to just listen to my body and let my body do the talking. With the connection to this knowledge and experience I was able to take a lot more from class on Thursday than I have the other days.
When I was moving, I felt a need to be facing the light coming in from the windows. I also felt a need to stretch out my body, releasing all of the tension I had built up. I felt my body moving in a very subtle manner, yet every move was important. Time seemed to disappear, no longer matter, and I was surprised when time was up that 12 minutes had actually passed. The most amazing thing that I noticed was that all of my tenseness had been washed away, I felt very at ease. While my mind had caused my body to be tense and sore, allowing my body to lead removed it all.
By not allowing the body to move how it wants to move people experience pain that is unnecessary, pain that only exists because the mind created it. Our inhibition of the body is an important thing to notice and being able to release this inhibition, even if only at times, is an important thing to know how to do. ~Miranda Schmidt
I was glad that Louis had us start our movement exercise standing up and that it was longer than the previous 2 experiences. Like Tuesday, I began this exercise as the "mover". I began moving my neck and shoulders which felt quite good because when I have started on my back, I haven't been able to move those areas as freely. Like Miranda, I felt a real need to be facing the windows to get light - it's been so dark lately, but that's more my mind speaking vs my body, so eventually I let this thought leave me. At some point during my movement, I got lost in where I was, what direction I was facing - it was the first time that I really felt my mind not in control and it felt great . . for awhile. I noticed that as I moved from standing to sitting that I began to feel nauseated. Once that happened, my mind got involved and took me to the floor. Once on the floor, the nausea went away and again, I got lost in the movement. I felt a real need to stretch especially my upper body. I was very surprised when the time was up. When I opened my eyes, I was also surprised where I was in the room. I really was able to let go of my movements to the point that it took me awhile to get back into focus after the exercise. I also felt energized.
As the witness, I had to keep moving around the space to ensure that I could see my partner. She appeared to be completely at ease with her movements and not uncomfortable moving through space either in a standing, sitting or lying on the floor position. She also made gentle contact with others. This did not seem to concern her either. She also was doing a lot of stretching and seemed to want to face the windows for long stretches of time. When we talked about our experiences, we had some similarities such as a desire to stretch and to move more than in past exercises. We also expressed a desire to do this exercise again, only longer to enjoy more of the exploration.
I had a far better experience with Authentic Movement this Thursday than I had in past classes. I finally let go of my thoughts quite a bit more than before and was more in touch with my body. I don’t think I was really in touch with my evolutionary self…I don’t even really know what the truly means. I almost had to concentrate on not thinking, which kind of defeated the purpose of not thinking in the first place, but it was still better than before. The fact that I consciously had to tell myself to stop thinking was interesting. I know that I overanalyze things on a too regular basis, even in everyday settings, and that I basically need to tell my brain to turn off when I’m trying to sleep, but I’ve never really tried to be that aware of what my body wanted to do. I really found my sense of touch heightened as my hands explored my surroundings and myself; it was almost as if they were feeling anything for the first time. For me, that was the most interesting part of this whole experience.
~Marcee Wickline
Like many other people, I had an easier time with Authentic Movement last Thursday. The first time we did it I felt self-conscious and couldn't seem to shake the thought that people were watching. I felt like I was being judged...if not by other people, by myself. It was like a challenge--how "authentically" can I move? As a result my mind was the dominant force as my body struggled to be heard.
I think like most things, with practice they get easier. And so on Thursdays class I was able to turn down my mind even more and just kind of move.
I do quite a bit of meditation on my own, and I try to visualize my consciousness diving down from my mind to the center of my chest. I was able to do this on Thursday and really focus on existing in the sensations of my body and not the dialogue of my mind.
It's strange how we get glimpses of things in our lives that we might not be quite ready for yet. Sometimes I feel scared, like diving into this sensational moment and loosening my minds grasp is making me crazy--it's disconnecting me from the reality in which everyone else seems to live. But I suppose I never really existed in that reality anyway...the alternative is just a bit scary and isolating sometimes. And I know in my heart that getting out of my mind more is what can help me be more peaceful and loving.
Authentic Movement and I, well we just met really. We are mere acquaintances now. But I have a feeling we have a long, beautiful journey ahead of us.
L.O'Neill
In this authentic movement session, I felt like a child. I forgot all that I had previously stored in my mind about what movement should look and feel like. I erased my previous experiences of life and my stresses about the future. Maybe this is what my earlier evolutionary self is like. Simply being; not planning, thinking, or critizing. I was finally able to fight my mothers earlier in life warnings to: "act, not react..." to stimuli. I stopped planning my next actions and simply reacted to feeling and sensation. I reacted to things inside, outside, and around without thinking about them. My new childlike self didn't care that I was being watched, but was aware of being watched. I moved when I felt like it, smiled if I had the urge, and withdrew if I felt threatened by other loud or close movers. My reactions were controlled by urges with absolutely no command from my conscious mind and I loved it. I know there is a time and place and humans may be at an advantage for being planners with 12 step cognitive processes, but the release and freedom of reaction are what makes the interactions of animals so beautiful and intruiging to us. Although authentic movement can bring us closer to this state of being, I still find myself wondering if there is a way to truly get there. To be as our earlier evolutionary self.
I felt much more comfortable in my second experience with authentic movement. It was far easier to let errant thoughts go and just be a physical entity. I still struggled with the fear of doing nothing. At times I felt like staying still for a minute or so, but my previous danced training broke through and prevented me from doing so. In witnessing I attempted to connect with the mover, as the article illustrated, but I had little or no luck with that unfortunately.
Jessica Mairi Holtzner
This time in authentic movement I felt much more relaxed and knew what was I supposed to do. It didn't feel strange.The reading really helped me understand it. I was the first one to move and we all started by standing up. I felt like my body was much more relaxed this time. My hips wanted to move and swing from side to side. My legs felt like they wanted to relax and that was when I laid down and I still had my hips move from one side to the other. Swinging of my hips caused my hands and body to move from side to side. My mind was shut down at that point and I had no control over my movements! My body felt extremely free and relaxed and I actually felt like dancing, but it was soon over and I had to watch my partner movements.
~Afsoon Fazeli
This was the first time i've attempted the authentic movements in class as i was not able to attend the first two sessions. I felt that it was a very difficult to just let go and do what my body responded to. at first i just stood there, thinking about "what in the world should i be doing??" i was a bit lost, within a minute or two, i decided to just concentrate on my breathing and focus on what my senses were telling me to do. as soon as my mind clicked with the surroundings, i began to sway around the floor, being extremely cautious of other people. i even got stopped because i apparantly almost bumped into someone, granted i had my eyes closed and trying to be one with myself. as soon as a stop was put on my movements, i gradually back tracked and sat down in my own little space where i felt safe and where i didn't endanger anyone else. My train of thought suddenly shifted from being up and wandering to a sitting, still position. i felt awkward, just sitting there playing with my toes and legs, trying to discover something new about myself, which i did by the way. i discovered that i can crack my left ankle by lifting it at a certain angle and snapping it to the right. i soon thought about a beat in my mind and started to faintly tap the beat onto the floor with my fingers nails at first then progressed to my fingers and fist. the rhythm quickly died as i wasn't sure about making loud noises during the session, soon after a loud "TING" sound buzzed into the room and we were finished.
My experience with Authentic Movement on this Thursday was much more relaxed. Even though I still couldn’t concentrate as much at the beginning, I feel that I use less time that the previous section. I felt much more comfortable on my movement. I become more understand what I should do; I should let my body guide me to the most comfortable way. Compare to the first time I experience Authentic Movement, I feel that 12 minute is much faster than 7 minute. I had glimpses that kind of guide me what I should do next for my body’s relaxation. For example, before I sat on the floor, I just felt like something forced me to do that, maybe it’s my instinct. However, I had a bit of struggling time, but it still taught me to be more concentrating on what I should do. For example, if I couldn’t keep my mind shut, I tried not to think about anything- just let’s thing goes. The ides about inhibition change my understanding that sometimes to accomplish something I should be more calm and use my consideration to make an efficient result that will benefit me the most.
Pitchaya N.
This last Thursday was a really good experience for me with Authentic Movement. I was able to move with ease without second guessing myself with my mind. There were times when I actually could feel the natural impulse wanting to move a particular part of the body and a moment of hesitation where I could feel my mind holding me back. This particular phenomenon made me wonder how detached the two things (mind and body) are so separate and yet they coexist in day to day life. This led me to wonder if people in day to day life respond to their body's natural impulse more often than we think. Do we not instinctively turn and manuever our bodies on a crowded streetway so as not to bump into the surrounding crowd? When we stretch, is it our mind that is telling us we must do this, or has the body overthrown the mind's authority for that decision? I might be completely missing a point, but that is what I thought about.
Another thing that was interesting was when I could feel my mind witnessing myself. I was consious of the movement I was doing yet I wasn't impeding on anything occuring. It almost felt that I was in a dream-like state where I am watching something with no interference but I am completely present within the moment. I did however find the conversation at the end more difficult than before. I don't know if the mover-witness conversation is suppose to be pretty simple or not. I find it difficult to speak in the present tense because for this most recent experience I was able to delve deep enough into letting the mind take a break from controlling the body that even though I was present while moving I can't clearly recall what I did which hindered the amount I felt I could have shared with my partner.
I really enjoyed starting off the session with a passage. While listening, I imagined a horse rearing its mane, and I could almost feel his mane flowing in the wind.
Yet I was disappointed, even though I knew it must have been coming soon, to hear that we were ending our unit on Authentic Movement. I don’t believe I’ve fully grasped the whole concept yet. However (as the title of this blog entry suggests), perhaps we will revisit this technique later in the quarter.
While I liked the reading before our movement, I don’t think it influenced my movement or the way I felt at all. I didn’t experience my evolutionary self at all. Not even a glimpse. How do I get in touch with that side my inner self?
I guess now that our time with Authentic Movement has concluded (at least for now), I should start admitting that this is something I struggled with. I kept hoping, wanting, and trying to make myself believe that I would get better at it with each session. But that wasn’t the case. Each session was different, not necessarily better or worse, just different. I suppose that’s a good thing – would my movement have been as authentic had I experienced more similarities between each session? There were, however, parts of each session in which I really did feel like my body was separating with my mind and gaining more control. Perhaps then I have made more progress than it seems. Even though throughout the session I continuously struggled at least somewhat, I have made progress in terms that I’ve learned something. I learned about Authentic Movement and I took some small steps to start practicing it. Before this class, I certainly had never even thought of the concept of whether my mind or my body was controlling my movement. Now I realize just how controlling my mind is. Without this class, I possibly may not ever have begun to even attempt to separate mind and body with respect to my actions.
Another small tid-bit I wanted to bring up regarding the requirement for us all to begin standing. After my turn to move, when I asked my witness to share, she mentioned that I began with the “tiny dance” that we discussed in class earlier in the quarter. I really liked how prior ideas and terms from the class can still be used throughout the quarter (and life!) and remain relevant.
-Lauren Cook
I have gotten to the point in practicing authentic movement that I feel very comfortable and at home with it. I can remember when it was not so familiar to me and I was still tenuous with the structure of it. However now I see it as an old friend that always tells me the truth, who I usually always enjoy being with, and if anything is uncomfortable it is usually because it is teaching me something that is difficult to hear or see or experience.
This time while practicing I very much enjoyed witnessing my partner first and participating in the process of giving feedback. It is always amazing to me that by simply saying what I saw, with out giving judgment or creating scenarios, my partner almost always says, “Ahhhh!”, like I have said something deep and profound that some how gave them a little bit of information that helps them in their journey to understand themselves and their experience. The same happens for me.
As it was my turn to move, I became very excited. I felt like I was about to step onto a ride that I had no idea what it would be like. I had not given any thought to my present state of emotion or mindfulness (or lack there of) nor did I make any decisions or have any apprehensions for my upcoming experience. I was thrilled with the thought that the moment I closed my eyes I would be transported into a world of deep knowledge and hidden wonders. Which is exactly what happened. I closed my eyes and my hands came to my heart. It was comforting at first, but then they became very heavy on my chest. I was comforted still for a while but then became a little smothered but I could not remove my hands for fear of abandonment or insecurity. When the weight finally became too much to bear, my body exploded with movement and found freedom. At first this freedom felt glorious, but it too soon became both wearisome and insecure. My body eventually found a state of balance where I was grounded on one side of my body and felt freedom and movement on the other. This was a place of security and breath, freedom and warmth. This is the place my body and heart long for and that I need to create in my waking life.
This session was completely different for me than any of our past sessions on authentic movement. I feel as though while I still have not fully grasped the concept of Authentic Movement, I am getting closer to understanding and feeling what it is all about.
The article that I read before class did not have much of an influence on the way I moved. In fact, I did not even think of the article during my sessions as either a witness or a mover. It completely slipped my mind.
Today, as a witness, I found that I was able to better focus on my mover. I also found that it was more interesting watching her start from a standing position. Her movements were extremely diverse as she travelled from standing to sitting to lying on the floor. In addition, it was interesting to have a new mover than I did in the past. Each time before I had partnered up with one of my two friends in the class. This time, my partner was unknown to me. I think that this made me focus more on watching her so that I would have more insightful comments to return to her after her session. I think that the comments I gave her were much more reflective than the comments I gave my previous two partners.
As a mover, this session was completely different than any of our past sessions. I was able to completely let myself go. I did not cheat by opening up my eyes and I was not afraid to move as my body wanted to. In prior sessions, I had a difficult time moving because I could feel the eyes of the witness on me. Also, I was always afraid that I was going to bump into whoever was moving around me. This was not a problem for some reason during this session. From the very beginning, I did not once think about the witness watching me. My mind was not in control, but my body was directing the movement. It was almost liberating to just allow my body to move in the ways that it wanted to. My witness later told me that I was moving all over the place and stretching out my body in many different larger motions. Previously, my movement was always described as subtle or small or limited. I also found it interesting that the time of the session, while much longer than before, seemed much much shorter. Time flew by! When the bell sounded, my body was not ready to stop moving!
I found this class to be very self-informative. It was great to learn how my body wanted to move. It was also interesting to let my guard down and simply do what my body wanted to do as opposed to what my mind thought it should do. I really enjoyed today's class and I hope we get to revisit Authentic Movement before the quarter is over!
~Melissa Eckstrom
This practice is a bit difficult for me. I could picture the movement I wanted to express in my head, but it didn't want to transfer into my body. Moving a little more freely was easier in this authentic movement session, however, I was not completely free. I struggle a lot with concerning myself with what everyone is thinking about me and if I am doing this correctly. I want so badly to do things right that I end up messing up anyways because I am putting too much thought into it. I want nothing more than to break free from this and I think with time this practice could really help. I am glad I was exposed to this.
*Kali
The experience with this Authentic movement was great. Just going over the paper really helps since it solidified some of my thoughts (like there existing a connection between mover and witness and witness being a very important part). Moreover, the whole "thing" can just be explained in seconds to a person who is new to it - just follow your instincts, and that's the beauty of it (with myriad experiences).
As a witness, my sole focus was on my mover. Observing his movements was very much fun, however the really interesting part is when I recollecting them later on. I pretty much left it on my short term memory and imagined what the mover did, interpolating between non-existent points. I can realize the connection being made with the mover when there was something very common, like hearing the sound of his ankle joint. And later on when the mover asked if I heard the sound or not, (yes I did), a very natural connection can be felt. As a mover, I tried to follow my instincts. Feeling the intensity of light around the room, stretching joints, rotating around, and so forth.
Great work with the authentic movement portion of the course. We may return to this practice later in the quarter.
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